| JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:24 am | |
| eto pala mga naipong kong jokes galing sa ibat ibang sites, lagay rin kau hahahaha! REGALO: Mare: Di yata nagustuhan ni Pare ang birthday gift mo, ah... Mrs: Oo nga, 7 months na, di pa rin ginagamit. Mare: Bakit, ano ba regalo mo sa kanya? Mrs: Memorial Plan. | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:25 am | |
| KRIMINAL: KRIMINAL 1: "Pare, sigurado ka bang dito dadaan yung papatayin natin?" KRIMINAL 2: "Oo, nagtataka nga ako, 1 oras na tayo dito, wala parin siya! Sana naman walang nangyaring masama sa kanya... | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:26 am | |
| IBANG POSISYON: Husband: Shall we try a different position tonight? Wife: Thats a good idea dear!... doon ka sa may plantsahan at ako naman ang uupo sa sofa at manoood ng tv. | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:26 am | |
| PINOY INGENUITY? A Filipino doctor has introduced the use of a device that enlarges a man's sex organ by up to 5 times with no side effects. It is called a magnifiying glass. | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:28 am | |
| VIBRATING CELLPHONE: Mrs: Bilis! Nahulog cellphone ko sa loob ng panty ko, "nagbavibrate." Mr: E, anong gagawin ko? Dudukutin ko ba sa loob ng panty mo? Mrs: Hindi! Kunin mo yung charger, baka ma-low batt! | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:31 am | |
| SI GINO: LOLO: Gino, paabot nga ng kape ko. APO: 'lo, Gina po. LOLO: Gino, paabot nga ng kutchara. APO: 'lo, Gina po. LOLO: Tumahimik ka Gino! Tigil-tigilan mo yang kabaklaan mo! | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:41 am | |
| TUTPIK: Kustomer: Ano ba naman itong tutpik nyo, iisa na nga lang, ang dali pang mabali! Waiter (inis): Alam nyo, sir, ang dami nang gumamit nyan, pero kayo lang nakabali! | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:48 am | |
| CONFIDENT VS CONFIDENTIAL: Anak: Itay, ano ang kaibahan ng confident sa confidential? Itay: Anak kita, CONFIDENT ako dyan. Yung bespren mong si Tikboy, anak ko rin, CONFIDENTIAL yan. | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:49 am | |
| Eyeball ng textmates:
Girl: Magsusuot ako ng yellow. Boy: I'll wear green.
Nagpunta sila sa coffee shop to meet. Dumating ang panget na babaeng nakayellow. Walang lalakeng naka-green. Nilapitan ng babae ang isang lalakeng naka-red na shirt.
Girl: Excuse me, are you my textmate?
Boy: Hindi ah! Naka-green ba ako?! Hello??? | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:52 am | |
| FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES: Anak: Inay, totoo ba na "First love never dies"? Nanay: Aba, oo. Tignan mo yang tatay mo, hangga ngayon, buhay pa ang animal! | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:53 am | |
| SUKO SA MISTER: Mrs 1: Suko na ako sa mister ko, lagi na lang ako binubugbog bago niroromansa... Mrs 2: Mas grabe yung mister ko. Binubugbog ako tapos si Inday ang niroromansa. | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:54 am | |
| PAGOD DAW..... Mrs: Ano ba? Two days na tayong kasal, 'la pa rin. Mr: Kasi pagod ako. Mrs: Sige ka, pag ayaw mo, maghahanap ako ng lalaki. Mr: Sige, gawin mong dalawa, tig isa tayo! | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:56 am | |
| PAMBOBOSO: Anak: Inay, sinisilip ng kaklase ko 'yung panty ko! Inay: Bastos 'yun ah! Ano'ng ginawa mo? Anak: Hinubad ko at itinago ko 'yung panty, para 'di nya makita! | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:01 am | |
| LIIT NAMAN: Wife: Honey... bili mo naman ako ng bra... Husband: Hon.. wag ka nang magbra...liit naman dede mo e.. Wife: E ba't ikaw, naka-brief!? | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:03 am | |
| INAY: ang lakas mong kumain! ano bang klaseng bata ka?!!
ANAK: nay, bakit ang alaga nating baboy, pag malakas kumain masaya ka. Sino ba talaga ang anak mo? | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:05 am | |
| Pedro: Pare bakit malungkot ka?
Juan: Asawa ko nag hire ng driver, Gwapo, Bata, Macho!
Pedro: Nagseselos ka?
Juan: Nagtataka lang ako kasi wala kaming sasakyan! | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:12 am | |
| EXPAND your PINOY style Vocabulary....
CONTEMPLATE <Kulang ang Plato>
PUNCTUATION <pera pang Enroll>
ICE BUKO <ayos na Buhok ko?>
CALCULATOR <tawagan kita mamaya>
TENACIOUS <sapatos pang Tennis>
DEVASTATION <yung station ng bus>
DEDICATE <Patay ang Pusa>
ASPECT <pantusok ng yelo>
DEDUCT <ang Pato>
DEFEAT <ang paa>
DETAIL <ang buntot>
CITY <bago mag utso>
STATUE <ikaw ba yan?>
TISSUE <ikaw nga!> | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:15 am | |
| Nanay: Hala, sige, layas! Huwag ka nang bumalik dito sa bahay! Simula
ngayon, huwag mo na akong tawaging nanay at hindi na rin kita tatawaging
anak, naintindihan mo?
Anak: Sige dude, alis na ako. | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:17 am | |
| Nurse: Miss, gising na!
Patient: Ah, bakit?
Nurse: Oras na ng pag-inom ng gamot.
Patient: Anong gamot?
Nurse: Sleeping pills. | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:18 am | |
| Anak: Inay, ang galing ng titser ko.
Inay: Bakit naman?
Anak: Tinuruan kami ng kagandahang asal.
Nanay: Eh di marunong ka nang gumalang at magpo at opo?
Anak: Natural! Tanga ka ba? | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:19 am | |
| TUKMOL: Sino sa inyo ang matapang? Lumabas!
SIGA: Ako, matapang ako, bakit may problema ka?
TUKMOL: Wala po, survey lang ho. Ngayon, yung duwag naman ang lumabas! | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:19 am | |
| Boy1: Bakit mo ako sinuntok?
Boy2: Tinawag mo akong hipopotamus!
Boy1: Last year pa yon! cute!
Boy2: Eh kanina ko lang nakita picture ng hippopotamus, bobo! | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:22 am | |
| GF: Hayop ka, niloloko mko!
BF: Bakit, wala naman akong ginagawa ah!
GF: Anong wala? Nakita kita kanina, may kasama kang ibang babae,
magkahawak pa kayo ng kamay! Niloloko mko!
BF: Makinig ka muna... hindi kita niloloko, maniwala ka... Yung kasama ko kanina ang niloloko ko! | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:22 am | |
| Intsik: Bili kayo panty. Kapag sinuot ito, hindi kayo mabubuntis.
Babae: Bigyan mo ako ng tatlo. 3 months later, galit si babae: Bakit ako nabuntis?
Intsik: Baka hinubad mo! | |
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tom Senior
Posts : 263 Join date : 2007-07-24 Age : 39 Location : N.P.A.
| Subject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:23 am | |
| Hindi makapagtimpla ng juice si Inday. Tahimik lang syang nakatitig sa bote
ng juice. Dahil nakasulat: Concentrate. | |
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| JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau) | |
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