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 JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)

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tom
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PostSubject: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:24 am

eto pala mga naipong kong jokes galing sa ibat ibang sites, lagay rin kau hahahaha! Very Happy

REGALO:
Mare: Di yata nagustuhan ni Pare ang birthday gift mo, ah...
Mrs: Oo nga, 7 months na, di pa rin ginagamit.
Mare: Bakit, ano ba regalo mo sa kanya?
Mrs: Memorial Plan.
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:25 am

KRIMINAL:
KRIMINAL 1: "Pare, sigurado ka bang dito dadaan yung papatayin natin?"
KRIMINAL 2: "Oo, nagtataka nga ako, 1 oras na tayo dito, wala parin siya! Sana naman walang nangyaring masama sa kanya...
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:26 am

IBANG POSISYON:
Husband: Shall we try a different position tonight?
Wife: Thats a good idea dear!... doon ka sa may plantsahan at ako naman ang uupo sa sofa at manoood ng tv.
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:26 am

PINOY INGENUITY?
A Filipino doctor has introduced the use of a device that enlarges a man's sex organ by up to 5 times with no side effects. It is called a magnifiying glass.
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:28 am

VIBRATING CELLPHONE:
Mrs: Bilis! Nahulog cellphone ko sa loob ng panty ko, "nagbavibrate."
Mr: E, anong gagawin ko? Dudukutin ko ba sa loob ng panty mo?
Mrs: Hindi! Kunin mo yung charger, baka ma-low batt!
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:31 am

SI GINO:
LOLO: Gino, paabot nga ng kape ko.
APO: 'lo, Gina po.
LOLO: Gino, paabot nga ng kutchara.
APO: 'lo, Gina po.
LOLO: Tumahimik ka Gino! Tigil-tigilan mo yang kabaklaan mo!
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:41 am

TUTPIK:
Kustomer: Ano ba naman itong tutpik nyo, iisa na nga lang, ang dali pang mabali!
Waiter (inis): Alam nyo, sir, ang dami nang gumamit nyan, pero kayo lang nakabali!
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:48 am

CONFIDENT VS CONFIDENTIAL:
Anak: Itay, ano ang kaibahan ng confident sa confidential?
Itay: Anak kita, CONFIDENT ako dyan. Yung bespren mong si Tikboy, anak ko rin, CONFIDENTIAL yan.
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:49 am

Eyeball ng textmates:

Girl: Magsusuot ako ng yellow.
Boy: I'll wear green.

Nagpunta sila sa coffee shop to meet.
Dumating ang panget na babaeng nakayellow.
Walang lalakeng naka-green.
Nilapitan ng babae ang isang lalakeng naka-red na shirt.


Girl: Excuse me, are you my textmate?









Boy: Hindi ah!
Naka-green ba ako?!
Hello???
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:52 am

FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES:
Anak: Inay, totoo ba na "First love never dies"?
Nanay: Aba, oo. Tignan mo yang tatay mo, hangga ngayon, buhay pa ang animal!
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:53 am

SUKO SA MISTER:
Mrs 1: Suko na ako sa mister ko, lagi na lang ako binubugbog bago
niroromansa...
Mrs 2: Mas grabe yung mister ko. Binubugbog ako tapos si Inday ang
niroromansa.
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:54 am

PAGOD DAW.....
Mrs: Ano ba? Two days na tayong kasal, 'la pa rin.
Mr: Kasi pagod ako.
Mrs: Sige ka, pag ayaw mo, maghahanap ako ng lalaki.
Mr: Sige, gawin mong dalawa, tig isa tayo!
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:56 am

PAMBOBOSO:
Anak: Inay, sinisilip ng kaklase ko 'yung panty ko!
Inay: Bastos 'yun ah! Ano'ng ginawa mo?
Anak: Hinubad ko at itinago ko 'yung panty, para 'di nya makita!
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:01 am

LIIT NAMAN:
Wife: Honey... bili mo naman ako ng bra...
Husband: Hon.. wag ka nang magbra...liit naman dede mo e..
Wife: E ba't ikaw, naka-brief!?
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:03 am

INAY: ang lakas mong kumain! ano bang klaseng bata ka?!!

ANAK: nay, bakit ang alaga nating baboy, pag malakas kumain masaya ka. Sino ba talaga ang anak mo?
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:05 am

Pedro: Pare bakit malungkot ka?

Juan: Asawa ko nag hire ng driver, Gwapo, Bata, Macho!

Pedro: Nagseselos ka?

Juan: Nagtataka lang ako kasi wala kaming sasakyan!
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:12 am

EXPAND your PINOY style Vocabulary....




CONTEMPLATE
<Kulang ang Plato>

PUNCTUATION
<pera pang Enroll>

ICE BUKO
<ayos na Buhok ko?>

CALCULATOR
<tawagan kita mamaya>

TENACIOUS
<sapatos pang Tennis>

DEVASTATION
<yung station ng bus>

DEDICATE
<Patay ang Pusa>

ASPECT
<pantusok ng yelo>

DEDUCT
<ang Pato>

DEFEAT
<ang paa>

DETAIL
<ang buntot>

CITY
<bago mag utso>

STATUE
<ikaw ba yan?>

TISSUE
<ikaw nga!>
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:15 am

Nanay: Hala, sige, layas! Huwag ka nang bumalik dito sa bahay! Simula

ngayon, huwag mo na akong tawaging nanay at hindi na rin kita tatawaging

anak, naintindihan mo?

Anak: Sige dude, alis na ako.
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:17 am

Nurse: Miss, gising na!

Patient: Ah, bakit?

Nurse: Oras na ng pag-inom ng gamot.

Patient: Anong gamot?

Nurse: Sleeping pills.
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:18 am

Anak: Inay, ang galing ng titser ko.

Inay: Bakit naman?

Anak: Tinuruan kami ng kagandahang asal.

Nanay: Eh di marunong ka nang gumalang at magpo at opo?

Anak: Natural! Tanga ka ba?
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:19 am

TUKMOL: Sino sa inyo ang matapang? Lumabas!

SIGA: Ako, matapang ako, bakit may problema ka?

TUKMOL: Wala po, survey lang ho. Ngayon, yung duwag naman ang lumabas!
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:19 am

Boy1: Bakit mo ako sinuntok?

Boy2: Tinawag mo akong hipopotamus!

Boy1: Last year pa yon! cute!

Boy2: Eh kanina ko lang nakita picture ng hippopotamus, bobo!
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:22 am

GF: Hayop ka, niloloko mko!

BF: Bakit, wala naman akong ginagawa ah!

GF: Anong wala? Nakita kita kanina, may kasama kang ibang babae,


magkahawak pa kayo ng kamay! Niloloko mko!

BF: Makinig ka muna... hindi kita niloloko, maniwala ka... Yung kasama ko
kanina ang niloloko ko!
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:22 am

Intsik: Bili kayo panty. Kapag sinuot ito, hindi kayo mabubuntis.

Babae: Bigyan mo ako ng tatlo. 3 months later, galit si babae: Bakit ako nabuntis?

Intsik: Baka hinubad mo!
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE thread (tawanan muna tau)   Sun Sep 09, 2007 1:23 am

Hindi makapagtimpla ng juice si Inday. Tahimik lang syang nakatitig sa bote

ng juice. Dahil nakasulat: Concentrate.
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